It’s not that I’m NOT trying. It’s more like I can’t right now. I don’t have the capacity.
I look forward to the day my site is where I want it to be so I can share it on a broader platform. I read stories on Quora by people just like me. It brings me comfort in the way I want to comfort those with my own personal experiences. I feel better when I help others. Why can’t I figure out a way to help myself?
You see, my blog is up but it doesn’t function the way I would like it to yet. This is being worked on, but I’m also using the extra time to pull myself together. I need to write more, but how do I manage that while I am uninspired?
Uninspired is an understatement
I’m in a low right now. The lowest of the low if I’m being honest. I’ve never experienced what I am experiencing today. I sleep and cry. I have to force myself to eat and hope it stays down. My head hurts. I’m filled with worries that never bothered me before now.
Are my friends mad at me?
Am I going to get fired for speaking my mind?
Why do people gossip so much?
I wish I was a better mom.
I wish I was a more stable wife.
Sometimes I feel like a kid again and I just miss my Dad. Today is Father’s Day and I could not make a simple phone call to him because I am so emotional and unable to have a conversation.
My troubles are not catastrophic, yet I feel like everything is the end of the world.
Thank G-d for my husband. He is my unwavering support. He always has the right words at the right time. I wish I was like him. I wonder what it would be like to have a robust serotonin level like his.
I hate that my kids see me this way. It sucks having to decline invites because I can’t muster up a fake smile and good tidings.
What has happened to me? I’d love to wrap this post up with witty hilarity, but I just don’t have my usual “wow” factor right now. And that’s ok. Who am I entertaining anyway?
Some posts will just be more real and honest than others. Honesty isn’t always pleasant and neither am I.
JD- Hoping for a better tomorrow.
