Dear Friends & Family,

After an innocent, though ambiguous message exchange, it was confirmed. My first-ever best friend Monica had died suddenly and unexpectedly.

The scrawny, knee-knocking pipsqueak I met at 7 years old was gone forever. My bossy, up-for-anything home girl who taught me the ins and outs of the hood would no longer take my calls or respond to my texts.

I was devastated. Incredible memories overwhelmed me from every era of my life and they just keep coming! From her familiarity with Mr. Lettieri’s work schedule to being her bridesmaid, my friendship with Monica was an integral part of my life.

In 1983, Mr Lettieri’s work schedule became important when Monica informed me he handed out Bazooka gum to the neighborhood kids upon arriving home from work. He drove a sleek, black Monte Carlo Super Sport we could hear rumbling up the small incline of Riverdale Drive.
Cool beans!!
Moments later, the two of us would be breaking our jaws, gnawing on the sweet treat, and feverishly unfolding the waxy Bazooka Joe comic— beyond giddy to read our fortune.

I knew things about Monica and her family that only close personal friends and family knew. I witnessed pivotal moments in her life like the time her parents took us away for the weekend to Vermont and they opted to tell Monica and her little brother Justin they had to put their beloved German Shepard Lancy down on our car ride home. That car ride was crushing for me and Lancy wasn’t even my fucking dog! But— it was a moment of great pain for Monica and so it was great pain for me too.

Monica and I lived together in the mid-90s, we were 20 years old. She was a waitress and had very much the waitress lifestyle and schedule. I, on the other hand, worked nine-to-five and lived similarly to a 40-year-old. Any time I would be out of town, Monica would have a party. I was a buzz kill. I felt like I had too much to lose at the time and I didn’t even have a credit card yet. “What if someone gets hurt? What if someone drives home drunk and wrecks?” I would say after any suggestion of fun. (I get that from my Dad, Rick. ⚠️Caution⚠️ was instilled in me upon birth!)
I couldn’t loosen up enough in those days, but we managed to get into plenty of mischief. I remember lurking in the windows of our neighbor’s — a group of hunky Eastern Connecticut students. I only remember the Cory and Erik ones…
Fun found us, okay?!

Monica insisted on documenting important events and anyone lucky enough to make it past a tapestry hung on our staircase leading to the bedrooms. Under said tapestry, Monica had a line counter with two columns. One for J and one for M. She kept a list of dates for the ragers she had while I was away and tidbits of gossip she jotted down as a reminder to fill me in. Upon my return, she would proudly present freshly documented intel by lifting the tapestry corner like a kid who successfully worked the system. I giggle just thinking about it now.

A decade later, it would be us cruising down Riverdale Drive in Grampa Hathway’s Mercedes on our way to a wedding. The blue-green convertible spilled over with us dolled-up bridesmaids and one happier than I’d ever seen her, Monica— the blushing bride.

I had some of the best times of my life with Monica. She was always up for anything. I admired that in her. It was as if she knew she wouldn’t be here with us long. I feel incredibly grateful to be able to share my memories with you.

Monica was not on social media. I am not a fan of social media either, but I want a place for Monica’s kids to safely write messages and for them to read about how she enriched my life in particular. Everyone is welcome to share short stories and pictures through this site.

I visited Monica’s funeral home tribute page to look at pictures when I saw Mallory, Monica’s eldest daughter, had written a message to her mom two weeks after her passing. My own broken heart seized seeing that message. I decided right then and there… ‘Not on my Apple watch, Mon! I’ve got this!’
For you, Monica. For Larry and McRu. For Gram and your Mom. Judge and his crew; your Dad and his. Your friends!! You have so many friends.

If you see “McRu”, that’s a mash-up of Monica’s kids’ names I created for, Mallory, Carson, and Ruby and I’m specifically referring to or about them.
Not every blurb will be rated PG because Monica certainly wasn’t, but I will do my best.

-JD